My step dad is a really generous dude. I'm eternally grateful for everything he's provided. After showing him my first mixtape, he was moved to the point where he wanted to help me succeed. He knew Huntsville wasn't going to cultivate my creativity so he offered to pay for an apartment out in Austin. In return, I was expected to make music. And starting the day I moved into my new apartment, that's exactly what I did. In my bedroom there was nothing but a sleeping bag, a lap-top, and some recording gear. I'd finally escaped my mother's clutches and moved to the Mecca of Music. I wasn't going to fuck this up.
For the first few months though, I couldn't take pressure. Do I deserve this apartment? Am I a spoiled little bitch? Am I good enough to stoke people? All these questions were eating me alive. That's why the first song I wrote after moving to Austin was "Good Enough". Good Enough had to come first. In that song I was almost reminding myself, Ferrell, you don't care. You make music for fun and if it all comes crashing down around you and everyone hates your shit, you'll at least know you tried.
And so it was. For one year I lived in my beautiful apartment. I kept it clean. I wrote and recorded my entire mixtape. I worked at a pizza place. I hung out with my girlfriend. I traveled to the city. I wandered the near by nature preserves... Life was pretty fucking good.
When my step dad (Mike) wrecked his four wheeler though, everything came to a screeching halt. He was in a coma for almost two months. The good news is that he's out of it now. My mom says he's talking, although I haven't been able to see that with my own eyes yet. I'm planning to visit him this Friday.
Now it's September 19th and I'm losing my apartment October 1st. I have to put all my stuff in storage then temporarily crash at a friends house until I've saved up enough money to get my own place. In that time period I'll be working every single day. I won't be able to make music or anything until I get back on my feet again.
You would think this might discourage me but it actually just motivates me further. It'll give me stuff to write about and things to film. Not to mention how satisfying it'll be once I'm actually 100% independent. Then nobody can tell me shit and my temple will produce more music and videos than ever before. I'm motivated, ready to work, and excited to earn my independence.
Working two jobs in order to provide myself with a one bedroom apartment sounds exactly like what I eventually expected for myself. I knew that it would come to this someday. I've always known. By skipping out on college to pursue Earthworm, I took the rough side up the mountain. Everything will work out.
"Despite the overwhelming since of doom that looms in my subconscious, I'm confident that I'll accomplish".
