I just watched Bake and Destroy. By the time it was over, I felt an enormous sense of guilt. I really fucked up when I put my skateboard down. I can try to play it off like it wasn't my fault, but deep down I know that it was.
Skateboarding made me the person I am today. Skateboarding gave me a sense of identity and connected me with the world. Suddenly ditches were beautiful. I started noticing when the weather was perfect and spent more time outside than ever before. I felt this overwhelming sense purpose. It was my entire world.
Somewhere a long the line, I lost sight of how much skateboarding meant to me. I allowed the controlling girlfriend, the shitty home life, and the weed to destroy me. I allowed depression to consume me. It's nobodies fault by my own, and for the first time in my life, I accept that.
I want to fill the hole in my heart. I want to become reacquainted with the toy that once made me feel so alive. I don't want to feel jealous when I see people having fun on their skateboards. I don't want to go to the skate park once a month and feel like a wash up.
I'm the only one that can make it happen. It's never too late. It doesn't matter if you love to ride motorcycles, draw pictures, or play the guitar. Never allow yourself to feel like you've missed your chance or that you can't get it back. All you have to do is start up again. Go buy a new set of paints, brush the dust off your keyboard, and get back to doing what makes you happy. Life is too short
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I wrote this while listening to
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-32AAp418V4
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